Who Ate Mary Kate?

"Irreconcilable Differences"

2006-11-07T21:04:00.000-05:00

see: Lose the fucking loser.

Oh, Brit, who saw this coming? Who knew you'd divorce so soon. Come here baby girl, come cry on Momma's shoulder... no one could have predicted a guy that has 3 kids already would be a dick to you. You only have 2 kids..
Sweetie, shhh, I'm here.. sh, sh, calm down.. he only raked you for a couple mil, could have been worse, you could have married Bobby Brown. Tsk, come on, shh, shh, dry those eyes. The media will eat this up, they'll love you again, America's Po' Single girl...
There's my girl.. come on.. you know they love you.. work it Bibi WORK IT..

I'm glad she's making a come back... and so am I.

xoxmk

Hi Kids...

2006-11-07T20:27:00.000-05:00

I'm baacckkk...

xoxmk

Toodles

2006-04-11T20:07:00.000-04:00

Thanks guys... this party's been super fun!
But this party has come to and end.

xoxmk :(

Ripley's Believe It Or Not

2006-04-06T21:03:00.000-04:00

Sigourney called... she wants her alien back.

xoxmk

Hold The Phone Please

2006-04-03T22:41:00.000-04:00

Bottom line... she never lets you forget who's in charge.

NEW YORK (AP) — Supermodel Naomi Campbell was charged with assault for throwing her cellphone at a housekeeper after accusing her of stealing clothes when she couldn't find a pair of jeans she wanted to wear on Oprah, prosecutors said.

xoxmk

Who's The Ass?

2006-04-03T22:38:00.000-04:00

Li-Ho of course...

xoxmk

Eat It Up Bitch

2006-04-03T22:35:00.000-04:00

"She (Nicole) cannot stand being around me because I get all the attention and people really don't care about her, I've been best friends with her since I was two, but when I brought her on to my show, she got very jealous and turned on me for no reason. It breaks my heart. She was my sister. She was the funniest person to be around and then she let the fame go to her head. She's not the same person any more. I never want to speak to her again - ever." P. Hilly

I think she's doing A-OK without you slut face.

PS. If you didn't know P.Hil hates Nic, ever since she played her porn at a party...
Way to go Nic, we love you!!!!

xoxmk

I'm Not A Girl.. Not Yet A Woman

2006-04-03T22:34:00.000-04:00

xoxmk

Lowered Expectations

2006-04-03T22:32:00.000-04:00

I guess when the rest of the world hates you... (or just me)
Hatcher and Seacrest can only rely on themselves.

xoxmk

Code Blue

2006-04-03T22:30:00.000-04:00

Excuse me.. Karl, Calvin.. Donatella... Someone.. Anyone..
She's going down... again

xoxmk

Tantastic!!

2006-04-03T22:26:00.000-04:00

xoxmk

I'm Not Preggers, Y'All

2006-04-03T21:31:00.000-04:00

"First of all, I'm not pregnant and second of all I'm sick of being called fat! I am a young mother and I just had a baby! It's very hurtful that people love to put me down.My husband loves my body and he has no problem with this! I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat! There's nothing wrong with that and if people have a problem with it they can turn their heads!" BS

xoxmk

Mission Impossible

2006-03-31T02:12:00.000-05:00

The biggest mission will be to get your careers back.

xoxmk

Joan Shivers

2006-03-31T02:11:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Baby Got Crack!

2006-03-30T00:28:00.000-05:00

You are cordially invited to...
Whitney Houston (& Bobby Browns)
Crack Den.
Please ByoN. (Bring your own Needles)

xoxmk

Downward Dog

2006-03-29T23:16:00.000-05:00

Just when you think they've hit rock bottom
the Spederlines come through again.
xoxmk

Fallen Star

2006-03-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

Aw, Baby girl, don't be sad.. those gay boys fool us all.

You'd think maybe one of you're friends would step up and say something....
You're a lawyer and a celebrity not to mention a BRIDEZILLA
But, NOOOOO, no one said anything. Where are you're friends when you need them??? (they all hate you)
Jeez, Louise, it wouldn't be cause you're outspoken would it??? Or cause you're a bitch?

Oh, no we all thought he was straight (snicker). Really. Who would have guessed?!?!? (LAUGH.CHUCKLE. LAUGH).

Look on the bright side, you lost a ton of weight, and you've got her shoulder to cry on.
xoxmk

Wish We All Could Be

2006-03-28T00:52:00.000-05:00

David Lee Roth . You're such an asshole Asslee.

xoxmk

The Truth Is Out There

2006-03-28T00:08:00.000-05:00

You're too old for this.

xoxmk

Self Serve

2006-03-27T23:47:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Ms. Jackson... 'Cause You're Nasty

2006-03-27T23:23:00.000-05:00

There's only one person scarier than Michael Jackson...

YOU!

xoxmk

Has Been & Has Never Been

2006-03-27T23:18:00.000-05:00

xomk

Stocks & Thongs

2006-03-27T22:43:00.000-05:00

Ms. Hilton you might be worth a million bucks
Your stock decreases with every guy you fuck

xoxmk

Jenny Craig Called...

2006-03-27T22:37:00.000-05:00

And she says you look Grrrreat!!!

xoxmk

America's Next Top

2006-03-27T22:19:00.000-05:00

Skinhead.

xoxmk

Let's Pretend We're Normal

2006-03-21T00:47:00.000-05:00

And not mention that we've all been to rehab.
And we've all been sucked/ botoxed/ and stapled.
And that our daughter/sister is so embarrassed of us, she won't appear on camera with us.
Yeah, we're normal..

xoxk

'High' Society

2006-03-21T00:19:00.000-05:00

Fashion Do: Go to the show high
Fashion Don't: Take off the stupid wig before the show

xoxmk

Budget Rent-A-Fed

2006-03-20T22:40:00.000-05:00

“Each month, he will be allotted a certain amount of money for personal use - i.e., clothing, nightclubs, booze and day-to-day activities. Any big items - cars, or trips that go over allowance - need to be approved by Brit herself,” said one source.
“She acknowledges she has made a great deal of money. However, she is trying to show Kevin that he needs to be responsible and curb his out-of-control spending habits.”
Meanwhile, a source at the Four Seasons Hotel in Maui told us the two are still not getting along: “I was in the elevator with Britney, and she was screaming at K-Fed on her cellphone that she had waited in the suite all day for him to call and had been trying to reach him and couldn’t sit in there any longer.”

xoxmk

You Said It First #4

2006-03-20T22:27:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

I Wanna Sex You Up

2006-03-20T22:15:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Some Days You Look Like Trash...

2006-03-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

Some days you don't.

xoxmk

Sausage Party

2006-03-20T22:10:00.000-05:00

"I've NEVER had a hot beef injection. I'm a vegetarian"

xoxmk

Stopover In Paris

2006-03-20T21:35:00.000-05:00

“Since losing my virginity to a hooker at 14 I’ve slept with almost 2,000 women. Paris and Liz topped them all - but I was in love with Liz so she just pips her.” Tom Sizemore

xoxmk

No-TORI-ous

2006-03-20T21:23:00.000-05:00

Here comes T. Spell..

'So noTORIous' is a fictionalized account of my life after '90210' with fictional characters . . . We take poetic license with everyone and every story line on the show.' PR Rep For T. Spell

I wouldn't usually care about her. Or her show. Or make more than 1 post a week about her. But with the recent divorce, his stupidity, and Mommy and Daddy are sooo pissed. I can't help but post about her. This is going to be good. Shit hits the fan April 2nd.

xoxmk

I (heart) Fat Chicks

2006-03-20T21:20:00.000-05:00

"I'm not stupid. I know I'm not getting girls off my good looks. When I'd sold 50,000 records, I was having sex with fat chicks in Virginia. I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth, I know what I look like." Kid Rock

xoxmk

Leaking Lewis

2006-03-20T21:13:00.000-05:00

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewww.

xoxmk

Skinnywood 101

2006-03-20T20:13:00.000-05:00

That's it Kate, good girl, You're learning the Hollywood secret sooooo fast.
Just remember lots of water, and get some veneers stat.

xoxmk

Boobielicious

2006-03-20T09:06:00.000-05:00

Um, I think you got jacked on the boob job sweetie.

xoxmk

Happy St. Patricks Day!!

2006-03-17T10:40:00.000-05:00

Here's to getting so drunk that Tori Spelling looks good.

xoxmk

Just Because

2006-03-14T17:00:00.000-05:00

I can.

xoxmk

Let's Play Nice!

2006-03-13T22:09:00.000-05:00

You may want to sit down for this one folks.. I'm about to be nice.

She said "Everyone came and took pictures of beautiful Teri and Nicolette and Eva. The first hour I was like, 'This is so funny - nobody wants to take a picture of me.' "The second hour my nose was a little out of joint. "By the third hour, I hated it. I called my husband from the limo, crying, 'I am the oldest and ugliest one here.' "
He said, "Baby, I'm always the oldest and ugliest on the set. And it's only going to get worse.'
She said "I just loved him for that."

Don't worry darlin'.. you may feel the oldest (Bree is). You were up for the Oscar. You've got real talent. And a real Hollywood marriage.

Lucky Bitch.

xoxmk

Game Time!

2006-03-13T21:45:00.000-05:00

Let's all play!!
Ready?? Guess the Tranny!

xoxmk

You Said It First #3

2006-03-13T21:26:00.000-05:00

"I don't know about Brad Pitt," says Douglas, "leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina [Jolie]. I mean how long is that going to last?"

xoxmk

It Was Just A Matter Of Time..

2006-03-13T21:24:00.000-05:00

Before they started to hate you too! Ha Ha.

xoxmk

Who Doesn't?

2006-03-13T21:13:00.000-05:00

"I LOVE the smell of bacon and babies" Elizabeth Taylor

xoxmk

Its Countdown To Lockdown.. Bitch

2006-03-13T21:09:00.000-05:00

Luckily we have 'til August 2nd to see her ugly mug in public again.

xoxmk

Sweet Enemy Of Mine

2006-03-13T21:02:00.000-05:00

Responding to Axl's comments, Weiland wrote in an open letter..
"Get in the ring. Go to the gym, motherfucker, or if you prefer, get a new wig, motherfucker. I think I'll resist the urge to 'stoop' to your level. Oh shit, here it comes, you fat, botox-faced, wig-wearin' fuck! O.K., I feel better now. What we're talking about here is a frightened little man who once thought he was king, but unfortunately this king without his court is nothing but a memory of the asshole he once was."
via A Socialite's Life

Speed Bag

2006-03-09T22:20:00.000-05:00

Let's just pretend this never happened.

xoxmk

IOU

2006-03-09T22:04:00.000-05:00

"I remember borrowing $100 from a girlfriend for headshots. I had to start somewhere. I was broke." Jennifer Aniston

xoxmk

Smack My Bitch Up

2006-03-09T18:48:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Pass The Herpes Please

2006-03-09T18:36:00.000-05:00

Well, I'll be damned. Paris finally found herself a members only club she can call her own.
And gosh darn, its the sex-degrees of Hollywood.

xoxmk

Hola!

2006-03-08T23:37:00.000-05:00

That is some seriously sick shit.

xoxmk

Boyband Mountain

2006-03-08T23:12:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Amber Alert

2006-03-08T22:39:00.000-05:00

Tom : Go on... D. Tell them, tell them what we're going to do.

Dakota : Well, after Kate has Tom's baby, we're moving to a place far, far away, but just for a little bit. Its going to be soo much fun. I think they call it a comp. No. A commu. No. Um.. Ah. A.. a.. a compound! Yeah!!And, I'm gonna have Tom's babies too. You know to prove he's not gay. Cause he's not I swear!! Guys, for real.. L. Ron said, okay? And like Tom. He's gonna take good care of us, cause he's gonna be God one day. FOR REAL! Ask him.. he's already OTVII!!!! I won't be able to see my parents for a long time, but its okay cause Tom's gonna take care of me.. I know cause Dianetics told me so!

xoxmk

Just Goes To Prove..

2006-03-08T22:14:00.000-05:00

Pete Dorerty, former bf of Coke Moss.

Anyone can hook up with a super model.
You just have to have the right hook-ups.

xoxmk

The Bachelor 8

2006-03-08T20:37:00.000-05:00

I saw no more than 10 minutes of 3 episodes but here's what happened.
It sucked. In the end it was down to two very different women -- Moana, who grew up in California as a child of divorce, and Sarah, a cheerleader and girl-next-door type who grew up in Nashville with parents who are still together. Blah. Blah. Blah. The whole show was about them.
That's right. No crazy girl. Where is the crazy girl?? The CG makes the show.
Travis didn't you read the small print* on your contract??

*Must keep crazy girl for 5 episodes.

xoxmk

GET GLAMORIZED!!

2006-03-08T12:24:00.000-05:00

Warning: This jewelry may be harmful to your career.

xoxmk

00 Spice

2006-02-22T01:35:00.000-05:00

That's Spice. Posh Spice.

xoash

Mr. Potato Head & Carrot Top

2006-02-22T01:15:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

The Mask

2006-02-22T00:58:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Helloo, Anybody Home?

2006-02-22T00:42:00.000-05:00

You're lucky you're cute, cause you aren''t very bright.

xoxmk

obsess'd

2006-02-22T00:33:00.000-05:00

With themselves.

xoxmk

Jaundice Johansen

2006-02-22T00:16:00.000-05:00

I guess she was over the albino look.

xoxmk

Dare For More?

2006-02-16T20:46:00.000-05:00

I don't know what's wrong with Australians...
but they are seriously fucked up if this is their poster boy.

xoxmk

High Five

2006-02-16T20:39:00.000-05:00

Cute! She's showing us how many months its been since she ate.

xoxmk

Smile!

2006-02-16T20:33:00.000-05:00

On second thought...

DON'T.

xoxmk

Happy Valentines Day...

2006-02-14T23:57:00.000-05:00

... from the gifts* that don't stop giving...
*herpes

And..

2006-02-14T23:53:00.000-05:00

from the ones we wish would.

And for those of you that are just mean..
this one is for you.Happy V Day bitches.

xoxmk

Hands In My Pockets..

2006-02-14T23:41:00.000-05:00

Hands in my pockets...
Hands in my pockets.

Ooops.. that one's in her crotch.

xoxmk

Jesus Talks

2006-02-14T23:36:00.000-05:00

"I think I have a sexual problem, a sexual addiction. I want to do it all the time. My only drug is porn. I have porn with me all the time. I call porn stores crack houses." Kanye West

xoxmk

Say Cheese!

2006-02-14T22:44:00.000-05:00

Cheeeche.

xoxmk

Pepperoni Tits

2006-02-14T22:05:00.000-05:00

Its okay Brit, we'll blame it on Kevin.
Just like everything else.

xoxmk

Weathered Vain

2006-02-13T21:07:00.000-05:00

You may ask... What's wrong with the picture?
Until I present you with this..

Gross.

xoxmk

Croutching Tranny, Hidden Drag Queen

2006-02-13T20:40:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Alley McBland

2006-02-13T20:34:00.000-05:00

I guess when your career fades, so do you.

xoxmk

One Eyed Willy

2006-02-09T15:03:00.000-05:00

Suzie, sweetie.... as if its not bad enough that you have crazy weird nostrils... but now you're pulling wonky eye shit on us...come on now.. botox can't be that bad for you.

xoxmk

Mother Of The Year

2006-02-07T22:47:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Bareback Mountain

2006-02-04T16:38:00.000-05:00

"So I woke up this morning, and Jakes dick was up my ass."

xoxmk

Backwash, Louisiana Pop. 1

2006-02-04T15:07:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Dianetics For Dummies

2006-02-04T00:12:00.000-05:00

No matter what Ron L. Hubbard says,
bodysuits are a no, no on anyone...

xoxmk

f.A.k.E.

2006-02-04T00:08:00.000-05:00

Quick call Willy Wonka, one of his Oompa Loompas have escaped.

xoxmk

Oh My Gravy

2006-02-04T00:02:00.000-05:00

It took me a few minutes to even notice she has a face.

xoxmk

View From The Top

2006-02-03T23:47:00.000-05:00

"I think it's sort of funny how you have to be doing coke off the a** of some stripper to be perceived as not boring these days." Gwynne Poo

xoxmk

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

2006-02-03T23:16:00.000-05:00

Nah, I don't want to hurt you.
I just want to throw a bag over your head.
xoxmk

Who Let The Dogs Out?

2006-02-03T22:08:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Milk Bags

2006-02-03T17:19:00.000-05:00

If you don't know who this is.. her name is Jordan (aka Katie Price)
No surprise that she's the UK's version of the Federlines.
Britan's biggest ass, "Jordan", is not only a model, a singer, and a writer.
She's a mom too...

xoxmk

When Muppetts Attack

2006-02-03T17:11:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Movin' On Up...

2006-01-25T16:49:00.000-05:00

My internet connection is down while I move. I'll be posting again shortly.

xoxmk

Dreams A Little Dream

2006-01-17T23:32:00.000-05:00

I know your heart skipped a beat, but she hasn't been shot in the head.
She's lost Kaballah, she's now into Hindu.
How white of her.

xoxmk

Sandra Oh...

2006-01-17T23:29:00.000-05:00

.. my fucking god I haven't eaten in a week.
xo ash

Beverly Hills U.G.L.Y.

2006-01-17T18:21:00.000-05:00

OMG, I just can't decide what dog is cuter.
xoxmk

Hilton Whoring

2006-01-17T00:07:00.000-05:00

Well I guess we know where her slut-bag daughter gets it from.
xoxmk

Slim Pickin's

2006-01-17T00:06:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Fly Like A Bird

2006-01-17T00:05:00.000-05:00

Well, you probably could fly like a bird..
If you didn't have an ass like an ostrich.
xoxmk

Son of a Bun

2006-01-16T23:47:00.000-05:00

xoxmk

Black Eye Tease

2006-01-16T23:46:00.000-05:00

Poor Jessie, Daddy poked her eye out with his dick.

xoxmk

Crankles

2006-01-16T23:45:00.000-05:00

Not surprising these bad boys belong to Courtney Love.
sick.

xoxmk

You So Crazy

2006-01-15T07:29:00.000-05:00

Allie
“Am I not attractive? Am I too short? Are my boobs too small?”
Age: 33
My three best attributes: Dependable, compassionate, good listener, ready to reproduce
My perfect date would be: It doesn't matter what you do; it is who you are with. It simply has to do with chemistry, physical and mental attraction, ability to reproduce
My ideal mate is: Tall, slender but athletic, has a good butt, is outgoing, romantic, thoughtful, compassionate, personable, witty and makes me laugh, wants to reproduce

Crazy bitch.

xoxmk

Botox For Beginners

2006-01-14T21:15:00.000-05:00

Listen Susan, I know that you're probably nothing like your character on tv, but I can't help but think you're like her. Sooo, with that said, I hate you.

Because I can.

xoxmk

Ridden Hard

2006-01-13T21:41:00.000-05:00

And put away wet.
xoxmk