Hawaiian Tropic

Pass the EVOO. I'm on vacation baby.

xoxmk

Gross Ya'll

Just when you thought she couldn't get any worse... she goes ahead and out does herself again.

I'm sad Brit. You've really let yourself go. There's only so much I can do... if you aren't gonna help yourself , then I can't stick up for you anymore. Get some good extentions, wash your face, lose that fucking loser, and waste some of your money on fixin' yourself up.

Oh, don't forget to download K-Fed's new track Popozoa. Whatever the fuck that means.

xoxmk

Its The Pitts

xoxmk

Clam Digger

xoxmk

Livin' La Vida Homo

xoxmk

Fo' Shizzle

Dear Santa,
This was the best present. Ever.
xoxmk

Merry Christmas Bitches

EJ and Donatella

And here's a little somethin' somethin' for the holidays.

xoxmk

Brad Pitt, The Witch & the Door Mat

xoxmk

Hilton Holidays!

Best Wishes for the Holidays,

and for

Health and Happiness

throughout the New Year

The Hilton Family

xoxmk

Holiday Greetings!

Dear Fans,

The Holidays are here once again. I just wanted to write a short note thanking all of you for your continued love and support. I have really fucked up this year and a half. I hope each of you gets everything you wish for and more importantly,please don't get married and knocked up like I did. We are spending Christmas at my house, that's right ya'll, the Feddy's and the Spears all over for Christmas dinner. Ye-Haw!

Please remember to keep all of our brave troops who are away from home (and those who are able to be home with their families) in your heart and prayers too!

And say one more little prayer for me, let's hope this train wreck I'm cruising on comes to a complete halt before my career does.

Happy Holidays and Happy New Year!

Love, Brit

xoxmk

She's Dreaming Of A White Christmas

xoxmk

Hard Knock Life

"Pretty people aren't as accepted as other people. It comes with all these stigmas." ~Micha Barton
xoxmk

Grossie Josie

Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?

Here's the real question. Can even touch your toes?

xoxmk

Dont Cha?

"Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha"

He's just glad she doesn't have crabs.
Like you.

xoxmk

Wedding Belle

Congrats to EJ on his marriage.
I'm sure it was the gayest wedding ever.
xoxmk

Drunk & Dramatic

"I don't f**king belong here! Why don't you just put a gun to my head and shoot me! You've already taken my freedom! You might as well take my life too." Michelle Rodriguez

xoxmk

Nuts & Dolt

xoxmk

Just So You Know

Her sunglasses cost more than you make in a year.
xoxmk

Dogs Annual

This is the best Maxim could do? Really? Hailey Duff?
Out of ALL girls in North America, this is what you got?
Sad, isn't it?
xoxmk

Victoria's Not So Secret...

... camel toe.
xoxmk

Coyote Ugly

Coyote Ugly n. A situation encountered after a night of consuming alcohol whereby a person, usually male, wakes the next morning in a strange bed with a sexual partner from the previous evening who is completely physically undesirable (see ugly, nasty, two bagger) and sleeping on the man's arm.

The hapless male would rather gnaw off his own arm than wake the woman and have to face the ills of his intoxicated choices the previous evening. Originating from a phenomena whereby a coyote captured in a jaw trap will chew off its own leg to escape certain death.
See Kelly Osbourne
xoxmk

Mayor McSausage w/ Cheese

xoxmk

Double Mint Thins

Girls, really, its okay to eat once in awhile...
(jjb)
xoxmk

The Grinches

xoxmk

Rehab's For Quitters

exhausted adj
1: drained of energy or effectiveness; extremely tired; completely exhausted;
2: completely emptied of resources or properties;
3: drained physically; "the day's events left her completely exhausted--her strength drained"
4. completely coked out

xoxmk

Oh Lard!

Sweet Jelly Donuts.
xoxmk

Cover Girl

Easy, breezy, beautiful, Cover Girl.
xoxmk

Stash-O-Rama

xoxmk

Trannyville USA

"I work a lot of nights and my neighbourhood turns into kind of a tranny area all night. Incredible work ethic they have - snow, rain, they're always out. But probably the worst people in the world you can make eye contact with. You go by and you think, 'Is that a man or a woman? That's actually a nice figure...' and then your eyes lock. It's kind of a nightmarish MONA LISA." ~Luke Wilson

xoxmk

Hot Lips

Apparently you are denying you've had anything done to your lips...
Well then, you've either gotta bad case of herpes, or you've been suckin' on too much Knoxville.
xoxmk

Melissa, the Fat Ass Witch

Now, now, I know she's preggers, and she can't help it...
but with that outfit, you're just asking for it.

xoxmk

The Stupid Life

"I'd ask, 'How are you?' and she'd say, 'I'm hot.' I thought she was acting but now I realise that's how she talks." ~VAL KILMER

xoxmk

Sucks In The City

"I just don't drink. I don't really like the taste of it, and I don't drink to relax. I am old-fashioned that way. I have never smoked anything other than cigarettes in my whole life - and have never taken drugs of any kind." SJP

xoxmk

The Corpse Bride..

.. and groom.
xoxmk

Ready Feddy?

Your meal ticket is almost up...
better get some bus passes fast, looks like your ride just ended.


xoxmk

Lizzie McWired

xoxmk

Rod Man

I have a feeling the only shots he's been taking lately are up his ass.
xoxmk

ABC's of STD's

Courtesy of JJB

xoxmk

Lady Brady

xoxmk

Lip Service

Pa Simpson is just dying to taste Jessie's sweet new lips,
Lord knows he's been waiting 3 long years to tap that ass again.

xoxmk

She Bangs!

xoxmk

Bat Shit Crazy

Dear Mariah,
I know you've had some hard times in the last few years. But that is no excuse for that get-up you are wearing. Lay off the Quaaludes, and snap back to reality. You are 35, not 15. I really don't even want to get into the shit on your feet. WTF? What do you do with all your money? Do you eat it? Spend a couple bucks on a stylist, bitch.

Luv ya, BFF,
xoxmk