The Girl That Has Everything

What do you buy her?
A fucking manicure.

xox mk

Poor Little Rich Girl

You think your life is bad?

Her Dad is stinking rich.. She's been on a #1 TV Show..
And she still looks like this.

xox mk

Mystic Tan

There is a fine line between being a Metrosexual and a Burnt Sienna Crayon.

xox mk

Butter Face

Butter Face. n.
Every thing is good, butter face.

xox mk

Smack, Crack.. Reality TV

Is that light reflecting off his head, or the crack seeping through?

xox mk

How To Lose Your Career In 10 Months

You marry this loser. Get pregnant with this loser... Then put yourself on TV... (say it with me) This Loser.
And dress like .....

xox mk

The Hoff

The sad part is..

Your Mom thinks he's hot.

xox mk

Tits & Ass

trash n.
1. Worthless or discarded material or objects; refuse or rubbish.
2. A place or receptacle where rubbish is discarded.
3. Worthless or offensive literary or artistic material.
4. A person or group of people regarded as worthless or contemptible.

xox mk

X-stinka

A touch of mystery? More like a touch of herpes.

xok mk

Commander Tom

Earth to Tom... Earth to Tom... OT VII do you read me...
Your career is taking a nose dive... release the girl... before its too late.

Freak Show.

xox mk

Smooth Criminal

xo mk&a

Jackie O

It's not often I eat crow. But damn Jackie's lookin' good.
(not that good, let's be real here)

xoxmk

Paris Squared

Q: What's the difference between Paris and a Ferrari?
A: Most men haven't been in a Ferrari.

xoxmk

Bradgie

In the near future if you ask yourself why Jennifer Aniston pulls a Mariah Carey, here's why.
You Bastards.

xoxmk

Mommy Dearest

xox mk

Eyes Wide Shut

We get it, you love her...
Now get off the fucking couch.
xo mk

Cry Me a River

"I've got so much saggy skin on my stomach," Posh has revealed. "Trust me, I look awful naked"

xox mk

Princess Diaries

"I didn't sign up for this shit! I signed up to do red carpets, not this. I feel like I'm gonna be the next Diana and it scares me. I can certainly understand how Di felt, Even after the accident they continued to take my picture, just like with Di. I couldn't believe it." Lindsay Lohan

xox mk

American Pie

Look at those puppies.

xox mk

Recipe for Success

1 part Victoria Gotti
1 part David Letterman
add a dash of coke
Shake and serve.

Orange County

Jess' next big role: An Oompa Loompa.

xox mk