Mission Impossible

The biggest mission will be to get your careers back.

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Joan Shivers

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Baby Got Crack!

You are cordially invited to...
Whitney Houston (& Bobby Browns)
Crack Den.
Please ByoN. (Bring your own Needles)

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Downward Dog

Just when you think they've hit rock bottom
the Spederlines come through again.
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Fallen Star

Aw, Baby girl, don't be sad.. those gay boys fool us all.

You'd think maybe one of you're friends would step up and say something....
You're a lawyer and a celebrity not to mention a BRIDEZILLA
But, NOOOOO, no one said anything. Where are you're friends when you need them??? (they all hate you)
Jeez, Louise, it wouldn't be cause you're outspoken would it??? Or cause you're a bitch?

Oh, no we all thought he was straight (snicker). Really. Who would have guessed?!?!? (LAUGH.CHUCKLE. LAUGH).

Look on the bright side, you lost a ton of weight, and you've got her shoulder to cry on.
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Wish We All Could Be

David Lee Roth . You're such an asshole Asslee.

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The Truth Is Out There

You're too old for this.

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Self Serve

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Ms. Jackson... 'Cause You're Nasty

There's only one person scarier than Michael Jackson...

YOU!

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Has Been & Has Never Been

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Stocks & Thongs

Ms. Hilton you might be worth a million bucks
Your stock decreases with every guy you fuck

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Jenny Craig Called...

And she says you look Grrrreat!!!

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America's Next Top

Skinhead.

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Let's Pretend We're Normal

And not mention that we've all been to rehab.
And we've all been sucked/ botoxed/ and stapled.
And that our daughter/sister is so embarrassed of us, she won't appear on camera with us.
Yeah, we're normal..

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'High' Society

Fashion Do: Go to the show high
Fashion Don't: Take off the stupid wig before the show

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Budget Rent-A-Fed

“Each month, he will be allotted a certain amount of money for personal use - i.e., clothing, nightclubs, booze and day-to-day activities. Any big items - cars, or trips that go over allowance - need to be approved by Brit herself,” said one source.
“She acknowledges she has made a great deal of money. However, she is trying to show Kevin that he needs to be responsible and curb his out-of-control spending habits.”
Meanwhile, a source at the Four Seasons Hotel in Maui told us the two are still not getting along: “I was in the elevator with Britney, and she was screaming at K-Fed on her cellphone that she had waited in the suite all day for him to call and had been trying to reach him and couldn’t sit in there any longer.”

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You Said It First #4

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I Wanna Sex You Up

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Some Days You Look Like Trash...

Some days you don't.

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Sausage Party

"I've NEVER had a hot beef injection. I'm a vegetarian"

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Stopover In Paris

“Since losing my virginity to a hooker at 14 I’ve slept with almost 2,000 women. Paris and Liz topped them all - but I was in love with Liz so she just pips her.” Tom Sizemore

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No-TORI-ous

Here comes T. Spell..

'So noTORIous' is a fictionalized account of my life after '90210' with fictional characters . . . We take poetic license with everyone and every story line on the show.' PR Rep For T. Spell

I wouldn't usually care about her. Or her show. Or make more than 1 post a week about her. But with the recent divorce, his stupidity, and Mommy and Daddy are sooo pissed. I can't help but post about her. This is going to be good. Shit hits the fan April 2nd.

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I (heart) Fat Chicks

"I'm not stupid. I know I'm not getting girls off my good looks. When I'd sold 50,000 records, I was having sex with fat chicks in Virginia. I look in the mirror when I brush my teeth, I know what I look like." Kid Rock

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Leaking Lewis

Ew. Ew. Ew. Ewww.

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Skinnywood 101

That's it Kate, good girl, You're learning the Hollywood secret sooooo fast.
Just remember lots of water, and get some veneers stat.

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Boobielicious

Um, I think you got jacked on the boob job sweetie.

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Happy St. Patricks Day!!

Here's to getting so drunk that Tori Spelling looks good.

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Just Because

I can.

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Let's Play Nice!

You may want to sit down for this one folks.. I'm about to be nice.

She said "Everyone came and took pictures of beautiful Teri and Nicolette and Eva. The first hour I was like, 'This is so funny - nobody wants to take a picture of me.' "The second hour my nose was a little out of joint. "By the third hour, I hated it. I called my husband from the limo, crying, 'I am the oldest and ugliest one here.' "
He said, "Baby, I'm always the oldest and ugliest on the set. And it's only going to get worse.'
She said "I just loved him for that."

Don't worry darlin'.. you may feel the oldest (Bree is). You were up for the Oscar. You've got real talent. And a real Hollywood marriage.

Lucky Bitch.

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Game Time!

Let's all play!!
Ready?? Guess the Tranny!

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You Said It First #3

"I don't know about Brad Pitt," says Douglas, "leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina [Jolie]. I mean how long is that going to last?"

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It Was Just A Matter Of Time..

Before they started to hate you too! Ha Ha.

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Who Doesn't?

"I LOVE the smell of bacon and babies" Elizabeth Taylor

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Its Countdown To Lockdown.. Bitch

Luckily we have 'til August 2nd to see her ugly mug in public again.

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Sweet Enemy Of Mine

Responding to Axl's comments, Weiland wrote in an open letter..
"Get in the ring. Go to the gym, motherfucker, or if you prefer, get a new wig, motherfucker. I think I'll resist the urge to 'stoop' to your level. Oh shit, here it comes, you fat, botox-faced, wig-wearin' fuck! O.K., I feel better now. What we're talking about here is a frightened little man who once thought he was king, but unfortunately this king without his court is nothing but a memory of the asshole he once was."
via A Socialite's Life

Speed Bag

Let's just pretend this never happened.

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IOU

"I remember borrowing $100 from a girlfriend for headshots. I had to start somewhere. I was broke." Jennifer Aniston

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Smack My Bitch Up

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Pass The Herpes Please

Well, I'll be damned. Paris finally found herself a members only club she can call her own.
And gosh darn, its the sex-degrees of Hollywood.

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Hola!

That is some seriously sick shit.

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Boyband Mountain

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Amber Alert

Tom : Go on... D. Tell them, tell them what we're going to do.

Dakota : Well, after Kate has Tom's baby, we're moving to a place far, far away, but just for a little bit. Its going to be soo much fun. I think they call it a comp. No. A commu. No. Um.. Ah. A.. a.. a compound! Yeah!!And, I'm gonna have Tom's babies too. You know to prove he's not gay. Cause he's not I swear!! Guys, for real.. L. Ron said, okay? And like Tom. He's gonna take good care of us, cause he's gonna be God one day. FOR REAL! Ask him.. he's already OTVII!!!! I won't be able to see my parents for a long time, but its okay cause Tom's gonna take care of me.. I know cause Dianetics told me so!

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Just Goes To Prove..

Pete Dorerty, former bf of Coke Moss.

Anyone can hook up with a super model.
You just have to have the right hook-ups.

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The Bachelor 8

I saw no more than 10 minutes of 3 episodes but here's what happened.
It sucked. In the end it was down to two very different women -- Moana, who grew up in California as a child of divorce, and Sarah, a cheerleader and girl-next-door type who grew up in Nashville with parents who are still together. Blah. Blah. Blah. The whole show was about them.
That's right. No crazy girl. Where is the crazy girl?? The CG makes the show.
Travis didn't you read the small print* on your contract??

*Must keep crazy girl for 5 episodes.

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GET GLAMORIZED!!

Warning: This jewelry may be harmful to your career.

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